Quick snippets from our morning read on Thursday, 28th January 2021
Today’s morning read is an article by Joseph Wells.
If you squeeze your eyes shut and think deep into your past, you can probably remember an unfortunate event in your life. Not a time you splashed coffee on your dress shirt or your boss made you work late – something actually bad. Maybe it was a car accident, or maybe you got kicked out of college, or maybe you were arrested. For me, it was being robbed at gunpoint. Whatever it is, most of us can think of at least one example.
When it happens, adversity makes you feel like a prisoner in a windowless cell – cold, dark, and alone. It’s overwhelming, scary, even debilitating. But with time – maybe weeks or maybe years – we grow to see our adversity as an important part of the people we become. Once we’re past the pain and the grief, we grow. We become people who otherwise wouldn’t exist. We build things that otherwise wouldn’t be built. We coach people who otherwise wouldn’t have guidance.
Growth from pain
One excellent example is Brendan O’Byrne.
“If my dad hadn’t shot me,” O’Byrne told me on my podcast, “I’d be dead.”
O’Byrne was heading down a dark road in high school. Partying and alcohol were common, and they fueled his temper. He came home drunk one night and began fighting with his father. The next thing he knew, he was on the ground with two bullets in his body and the police standing over him.
Knowing he was wrong, O’Byrne admitted to starting the fight. On his 17th birthday, he was sentenced to a year in juvenile detention. O’Byrne credits these awful events for saving his life. At the same time Brendan arrived in juvenile detention, heroin arrived in his neighborhood.
“I know I would’ve used drugs to counterbalance the pain I had inside. And I know I would’ve overdone it – because I overdid everything,” O’Byrne recounted with goosebumps on his arms.
Being shot by his dad got him away from his dangerous life. Instead of using drugs, he joined the Army, served a difficult deployment, and was featured in several of Sebastian Junger’s books and documentaries. Now O’Byrne serves as a beacon of hope for other veterans.
Embracing adversity is the best way to deal with misfortune.
Amor fati
The ancient Stoics had a principle – amor fati – which means to love fate. The idea is rooted in acceptance. Beyond basic planning and preparation, you can’t control what happens. You can control the attitude with which you respond. You can develop a love of fate – a deep burning desire to conquer the unknown. You can use the winds of circumstance to fill your sails – even if they’re not blowing in the right direction – and ride them to the best destination possible.
The lesson here isn’t to hope for adversity but to know it will happen and embrace it when it does. For adversity only feels bad in the present. But the brushes of history often paint it with a rosy hue.
So plan, but don’t obsess about details. Prepare, but don’t fret about outcomes. Persist, but don’t be too stubborn to bend to circumstance. The roads to success are lined with potholes and pitfalls. The best drivers don’t succeed in spite of them but because of them. They adapt. They grow. They learn to react. And they find the positions most favorable for victory.
You can read the full article here.
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