Quick snippets from our morning read on Wednesday, 02nd December 2020
Today’s morning read focuses on the skills you can adopt to improve your decision-making and self-knowledge. These skills are explored in the article “The Elements of Self-Reflection” by Nick Wignall
In his book Mindsight, Dan Siegel uses the metaphor of a camera to explain self-reflection: The better the camera and clearer the lens, the more accurate the final photo will be. But as any good photographer will tell you, to get the clearest image possible, you must use a tripod to stabilize the camera and the lens, since even small vibrations and movements can distort the final image.
Most of us have the basic equipment for self-reflection-a decent camera and lens, so to speak. But to bring our powers of self-reflection to the next level we need to cultivate three specific skills that contribute to the habit of self-reflection: Openness, Observation, and Objectivity.
3 Essential skills to improve your decision-making and self-knowledge
Openness
This means the ability to see things for what they are, not what we think they should be. It means becoming aware of our own biases and stereotypes about the world, other people, or even ourselves, and working to overcome them.
To cultivate openness, work on identifying your own default beliefs and rules about things, including yourself:
- What thoughts or self-talk run through your mind leading up to big decisions at work?
- What are your expectations for your spouse during times of conflict?
- What are your automatic or default explanations when you realize you’ve made a mistake?
Observation
This is the ability to watch your self in the same way you watch external events-with perspective and distance. Sometimes referred to as meta-cognition, this skill is especially helpful for using self-reflection as a way to overcome compulsive, addictive or habitual behaviors.
Mindfulness meditation is the best exercise I know for improving your ability to manage your attention-that is, to skillfully choose what you want to pay attention to and what you don’t.
Objectivity
This is the ability to separate your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors from your identity and sense of self. Of course what you think, how you feel, and the behaviors you engage in are a part of who you are, but they don’t encompass all of who you are.
We all struggle to separate our thoughts and feelings from who we are. Consequently, both our mood and performance can suffer. To improve your ability to be more objective with the contents of your own mind, you can practice using a thought diary. A thought diary is a simple technique for slowing yourself down in emotionally-intense situations and identifying the relationship between your thoughts and emotion.
Read the full article “The Elements of Self-Reflection” by Nick Wignall
And as always, if you enjoyed this, check out the rest of our daily snippets, curated daily, right here on The Red Notebook.
